Joy in Trials

 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3

I’ve read this verse so many times in my life but never really stopped to think about what it means.  The first reaction to verse 2 is “yeah right!”  Consider it joy? Are you nuts?  BUT … I  have to stop and contemplate verse 3 before the prior verse makes sense.  At least to me it makes sense.   Many people who know what I’ve faced in my life would say – and have said - that I’m crazy for believing this but I have proved these verses to be true many times.

I have learned to look at joy in a different way.  Joy is not being happy all the time.  Far from it – at least far from the worlds’ perception of  happy.  It is being able to look at things from a different perspective.  To me joy is looking at things from the inside and making a choice to feel joy inside not just to have a  feeling of being  happy.  The dictionary that I looked at online said that joy was “A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.”  That is true from a human perspective.  From a Biblical perspective I think – no, I know, it is different.  It is an inward feeling of contentment.  It is a being happy because you know and serve the Lord.  It is a choice I – and other Christians -  make.

I look at life differently since I’ve been ill.  I used to think I was happy when everything was going ‘my way’ and I wasn’t really facing any ‘trials’.  How wrong I was.  As I look back over my life it is the trials that have made me who I am.  It is the trials which have made me stronger and it is through the trials that I have found an inner joy, an inner happiness – a feeling of contentment.

In times of trial, I have learned … ok, I’m still learning … to stop and pray first and then reach out to my Christian community of friends – many of them online friends who I have never met in person.  I have had the privilege of meeting a couple of those friends in person and we talked and talked and talked as though we had known each other personally for most of our lives.  It is our common denominator of serving the Lord and looking to Him for our joy that makes us such good friends.  I have met people from all over the world and we understand each other because we’ve all faced so many physical and mental trials and have helped each other through these times.  The Lord leads us to each other.  

Joy is something I choose. 

I have had joy through those times of serious illness.  They are times of joy because I know that the Lord got me through each trial and will get me through whatever the next trial is.  It is a joy that comes from the Lord – not from my humanness. 

Joy comes from the inside.

Have I had joy all the time?  Truthfully, no.   I wish I could say that my faith was strong enough that I had never have had times when I wasn’t joyful in the trials.  But, God made me a human and as a human I make mistakes.  I forget to look to Him for the Joy.  And often it Is through reading things that my online friends have written that have brought me back to a place of joy. I am brought back to a place of joy because I know others are praying for me.  I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that there WILL be more trials to face in my life.  But I also KNOW that if I turn to the Lord, HE will give me true joy and will hold my hand through whatever it is I face.  I am facing trials now but I have an inner joy that I can only wish I had had all of my life.  It took a lot of trials for me to learn to lean on God for my joy and not lean on myself.  Does that mean I’m happy all the time – definitely not but I do have joy.

The truly joyous thing is to know that even though I have messed up many times and not turned to the Lord first and held on to Him, HE has never turned away from me and never stopped holding on to me.   I love the poem ‘Footsteps in the Sand’. That poem says it all.  No matter what we face, the Lord never leaves any of us even when we aren’t leaning on Him.  Mary Stevenson (Zangare) knew what she was speaking about when she penned that poem in the 1930’s.   It has become well known and has helped many through their journeys of trial.  For more on that poem go to http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/    What can bring more joy that to know that you are being carried by the Lord through the rough times?

I pray that you too find the inner joy that I’m speaking of, if you do not already know it.  It will change your life. I can promise you that.

Simplicity

I've been doing a lot of thinking about how complicated we tend to make our lives sometimes and that there is not really such a need to do that.  I've been reading a series of Amish books by Samantha Jillian Bayarr.  It was a series called Jacob's Daughter.  How simple their lives are.  The things that are important to them are so often forgotten by us.  Things like spending time with family and helping family members - all of them not just immediate family but big get togethers to do things like baking, canning, quilting etc.  They meet in each others homes for church services and then feed the entire community. They make their own clothes and make their own furniture.  

Have you ever spent any time in Amish Country and seen their goods.  I haven't been to an Amish area myself but I know friends who have and I have seen the things that they make.  Believe me, a bookshelf made by them isn't going to be made of pressed cardboard like the stuff we buy in the stores!  When a baby is expected the family stops most other things and spends time preparing for that child.  A cradle is made and quilts galore are made.  Things are passed down through their families and those things are important to them.

Yes they live by strict guidelines but most of them are Biblically sound - at least from all of the books I've read I gather that.  I cannot say for sure because I've not looked into it but I'm interested in doing so. I know that the Bible is very important in their homes and prayer is a big part  of their lives.  They have Sunday night singings which is where the young people go to court each other.  Imagine us 'courting' our beloved by taking them to a Sunday night singing - you can be sure that the songs aren't off the top 40 hit list! They are likely old hymns I'm guessing. Again they are are community events - all those of 'courting' age are welcome.  

I may not have all of my facts 100% straight and I know that not everything is rosy and fantastic in their lives as the books portray them to be but that isn't the point of this blog but rather to bring us back to simplicity, family, community, doing things together, making our own things etc. instead of running out to the store to buy everything - making life more simple.  We rarely think of making our own things anymore except a blanket here and there or for someone who loves woodwork, making small furniture.  If I were healthy I'd make a lot more of my own things than I do now.  I used to sew some of my own clothes and I always was crocheting something.  I loved to cook and bake.  I wasn't so much into cleaning but give me a nice warm spring day and open the doors, turn on my CD's and sure I'd even enjoy cleaning.  I did take pride in keeping my home neat and tidy and clean even if it wasn't my favourite chore.  

There are still things we can do even for those of us who aren't well.  We can write a card and pop it in the mail to a friend just to say 'I care'.  If we are able to do crafts of any kind like knitting or crocheting or needlepoint, we can make things for our friends for gifts.  I love to do scrapbooking and have moved on to doing digital scrapping now that I can't sit at the table and work at it to do my traditional scrapbooking.  

I made calendars this year for my family members using photos of my son and my niece and nephew and gave them to all of my family members at Christmas time.  I can't crochet a lot anymore but I did crochet kitchen towels and gave them to a few friends.  It felt good to make my own gifts.  Simple! Even fun!!  I had a blast looking through photos and scrapbooking them and then putting the scrapbooked page on the template for the calendar.  No, I didn't print them myself but I did everything else.  I had a sense of accomplishment; something I haven't felt in a long time.

Anyhow, I know I'm going to try to take more time to think about simplicity in my life and not wanting things so complicated.  Being satisfied with what I have, being happy watching a movie with my husband or family, visiting friends when I am able to, sending cards to friends or going for a ride in the van to enjoy the world God has made for us.  Hopefully I make a difference in my life and in the life of someone else.  I'm thankful to the Lord for the gifts He has given me and I need to spend more time using those gifts for the betterment of the lives of others.  

Are you a reader? Probably yes, if  you are reading this blog.  Do you like to laugh?  Get a copy of one of The Bobbsey Twins books from your attic or a garage sale or download it for free on your Kindle if you have one (you can download one onto your PC or Mac or a tablet for free at Amazon.com).  Talk about a fun read and simplicity!  That is what I am currently reading and I'm doing a lot of laughing!  Life was so different years ago than it is in our now fast paced world!!  Enjoy life!  It's too short not to enjoy :)

Comfort

I’ve spent the last 2 nights sleeping in my own bed.  I know, that doesn’t sound like much but it is when one hasn’t slept in their own bed for 18 months.  Since I was released from hospital in June 2011 I’ve been sleeping in my Lazy Boy chair in the living room.  It truly has been my ‘living’ room.  I’ve lived here 24/7.  

It has made me think about what 'comfort' is.  Is comfort truly about where one sleeps or sits?  What is comfort really about?  Well, yes, I believe it has a lot to do with where we sit or sleep but it is so much more than that.  To me, comfort is also about walking with God and walking in His path.  When we walk with Him we are comforted by His leading and as we follow Him, He gives us comfort.  

Psalm 119:76 tells us “May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.”  (NIV)

Sleeping in my own bed has felt ‘normal’ but once again what is ‘normal’?  For me, normal is doing what God wants me to do when and how He wants me to do it.   It isn’t about doing what everyone else can do;  that may be ‘normal’ in some people’s outlook but if I allow it to be my normal then I’ll be totally miserable.  One can’t judge normal on other people’s lives.  Everyone has a different ‘normal’     Even though I was in my own bed, it wasn’t ‘normal’.  I had to sit all propped up with pillows so that I could breathe.  I still had to have my oxygen on.  It certainly was a different ‘normal’ than what I had 18 months ago when I last slept in my own bed.

So I urge you, when you think of words like ‘comfort’ and ‘normal’ stop a moment and really think about what those words mean to YOU.  Each one will have a different answer because God has made us each different!  

Will I be sleeping in my own bed tonight? Unfortunately, no.  Kevin is back to work for the week tomorrow morning and won’t have the time to get me moved back downstairs with all of my paraphernalia but we are hoping to make it a ‘weekend event’.  Something to look forward to on  nights’ when Kevin doesn’t have to get up in the morning at 5 a.m.  It will make weekends even more special than they already are.  I already look forward to weekends because it means that maybe, just maybe, Kevin won’t be off doing an extra job somewhere and I won’t be home alone.    

I’m thinking of you & praying for you as you read my words. Thanks for taking the time out of your days to read them. If you wish to leave a comment and are unable to do so, you can leave one on my Facebook page if you would like to. Blogger seems to have some glitches but hey, it's free!

 

Hugs,

Heather

Blessings . . .

Well, we rang in 2013 at midnight last night.  Each of us in our own time zones and each in our own way.  We spent part of the evening with some friends but my pain made it impossible for me to stay so we rang in the New Year on our own at home.  It's amazing what my own chair and a heating pad can do!  I really did want to ring in the New Year with our friends but I've spent the day contemplating that that is not what is important.  

What is important is that I have many blessings to count.  I have a wonderful, loving family,  a husband who gives up things everyday for the betterment of my life, a wonderful son, loving parents, many in-laws who care very much bout me and friends galore from all over the world thanks to the internet....oh and I can't forget my 4 legged blessing, Jasmine. She makes me laugh on a daily basis. :) Although I do not like being house bound and ill all the time I have to say that it has brought many blessings into my life.

Without chronic illnesses / fibromyalgia, I would not have met many of you who are reading this and that would be a true shame.  I can't say I wish I'd never been ill because that would be like saying I wish I'd never met many of you.  You are all so important to me; all in different ways and for different reasons but special nonetheless....blessings to me.

The list of blessings goes on but I'm tired tonight so with that I will stop.  If you are reading this then you are likely someone whom I count a blessing in my life so thank you for being you and for all that you do for me.

Happy New Year!!  Let's make 2013 a year of wonderful things :)

hugs,
Heather

p.s.  Be patient with me as I figure out the ins and outs of blogging and how to let you subscribe to my blog and to be a 'follower' of my blog.  So far I haven't figured those things out yet but I will....just give me time.  Thanks!!

 

Twas the Night Before New Year

I've been given what I suppose could be called a 'challenge' to start a blog - so here goes.  Not sure what will turn up here or how often but we'll see what happens in 2013.  This is going to be a NEW year with new goals.  One of those goals will be to get out of this house more often. I would love to say that another goal would be to get off of this stupid oxygen but I don't have any control over that one so guess that's not going to change unless the Lord wants it to change.  Another goal will be to write in this blog on a sort of regular basis.

2013 will be a year of big changes - not necessarily changes that I'm going to say I'll like too much but changes that are part of the growing process of being a parent.  My one and only child, Chris, has decided to follow his girlfriend back to Vancouver in the spring when she finishes Law School here in Windsor.  Mom has to finish cutting the proverbial apron strings.  Can't say that I much like having to do that but it does mean that I have done a good job of raising him in that he wants to have his own life.  

I know that his moving away doesn't mean that he doesn't love me and I have to love him enough to let him go....not without some tears though.  I thank the Lord for allowing me to have 25 + years with him here in the same city.  I  have enjoyed watching him grow and spread his wings. I look forward to see what he does with his future.  I hope he knows just how much he is loved and will be missed by so many different people.

2013 brings Kevin one year closer to possible retirement from the hospital.  He is aiming for 2016 and then he hopes, if it is the Lord's will, to open his own business - not quite sure which of his many skills he will focus on for his business...likely locks and security related products.  He is a certified locksmith and he is really enjoying using that skill at his job at one of the local hospitals. 

We had a good family Christmas.  It was likely the last Christmas that Cris will be with us for a couple of years so I tried to cherish each moment with him.  Crystal, his girlfriend, joined us this Christmas which I really enjoyed.  She is so good for Chris and they are truly meant to be together, I believe.  She found it hard not to go home for Christmas and was very homesick.  We tried to do our best to show her what a Pell/Oliver Christmas was like.  

My nephew, Avi (AH-vee) is 3 1/2 this year and because of Pre-school, had some understanding of Santa and gift giving for Christmas.  It was a joy to watch him give out the gifts with his santa hat on.  Then, of course, in 3 year old fashion, he wanted to help open everyone's gifts as well!  My prayer is that someday he will understand the true meaning of Christmas; the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ, two-thousand years ago in a manger in Bethlehem..  Leonie (LAY-on-ee), my neice, at age 18 months was also a joy to watch at Christmas.  She will be much more into all of the gift giving next year.  Her big eyes just watched everything go on and she didn't miss much!  Those beautiful children are a true joy to me.

Well, guess that's what I have to say for the end of 2012.  I'll see you all again in 2013! :)  Isn't it amazing how fast the years come and go?

So, for now, from my house to yours, may you have a great New Year's Eve and stay happy and safe.

hugs,
Heather